Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Don't believe the lie......

FIXER UPPER on HGTV is seriously one of my favorite shows.  Joanna Gains style is SOOO what I love.  When I can't sleep at night, I magically become extremely and filthy rich and I pay her and her husband to renovate and decorate  a new home for me and my family.  It's always gorgeous and I have the best sleep.  Yup, I love her style that much.

A former companion (I served an LDS mission and we go two by two in a companionship for 18 mo.) of mine (Ottie) posted this in her FB page... I was intrigued since it talked about testimony and featured my idol. So I watched it.

Her message resonated with me so much.  It resonated in such a way that I very much needed to hear.  Her message of not giving into the lie that is placed by Satan himself. Sometimes at a very young age, sometimes when we are older... there's no time limit on when he tries to, and sometimes succeeds in telling the lie.

It made me think of my dreams.  What the Lord wanted for and from me.  I know without hesitation that being a mother is my number one thing the Lord has asked of me and I know I agreed to before coming to this earth.  That is a solid and personal testimony.  All my choices in life revolve around that one goal. I'm not saying this in a rah rah for staying home or being a mother. This is my personal dream and goal. 

But I thought of my other goals as my time begins to be freed as my children get their "sea legs" or learn to live without us.  What then, how or what do I want to do with my time? .... truth be told, I'd love to just follow Joanna all day, but probably not great use of my own time. ;)  I'm still thinking on that question and putting a plan together, I'll let ya know when concrete begins to dry, if ya know what I mean!

For now, I'm going to take the ever so wise advice of a fellow sister in our Savior.  She said "let the Father's hand guide you and say this is what I have for you...  Don't believe the lie, fix your eye on Jesus"  I wrote it with my white eye liner on my mirror.  What a beautiful message. 

So for all those mommies, stay at home and working, don't believe the lie.  We are all beautiful daughters of God.  We all have a purpose.  Keep your eye up and at the Savior, he will guide and protect us.  Thank you Joanna for sharing your testimony! And thank you for reading mine.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Today I wish to honor.......

“Today I wish to honor husbands, fathers, brothers, sons and uncles who know who they are and who are doing their best to fulfill their God-given roles as described in the family proclamation, including righteously presiding and providing for and protecting their families,” said Sister Linda K. Burton, Relief Society general president, in her Saturday morning general conference address.
A father’s role as a priesthood holder serves to strengthen and protect the family, Sister Burton said. “I am convinced that a husband is never more attractive to his wife than when he is serving in his God-given roles as a worthy priesthood holder—most importantly in the home.”

I can't stop thinking about this talk in the morning session of conference on Saturday. lds.org    I wanted to scream from the hilltop that I had such a man of my own.  I wanted to celebrate him and talk of all his amazing attributes. 

Jason is my perfect complete.  I'm a better person because I met him and even luckier to be linked to him for eternity. 

This last week was our 11th anniversary of finding out Jason had Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and that it was very advanced.  We were told that it was a very real possibility that we would loose him.  I go back to that day each year, as hard as I try not to. 

I feel an overwhelming gratitude that I didn't have to live a reality so many others have to endure.  Even though he can drive me bonkers and has helped me learn patience, what he adds to  my life surpasses anything that frustrates me. 

He is an amazing father and is always trying his best to be there for the kids and praying non-stop for their well being.  He loves his brother more than there are words.  He loves his sisters and prays for them all daily.  He has so much compassion.... it comes out self righteous.  His love for the Savior shows daily.  I am amazed he's mine for eternity.

I love you babe, thank you so much for your example to our boys of what a good man and husband looks like.  They take such great care of me when you're not there because of your example.

I'm so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father that has blessed me soo much! I feel extremely undeserving and humbled at my life.  McKelle and I were talking the other night about her future family.  She mentioned that I must have told her to marry rich.  I QUICKLY corrected her 'theory'.  We've not been rich monetarily, but spiritually and as a family and couple we've been richer than most.  I tell her to watch her Dad so she'll have a good measuring rod for her future. So grateful I can actually say and mean that.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Pffft 2012/13.....2014, welcome!

Where to start other than the proverbial 'HAPPY NEW YEAR'. How cliche that I'm re-dedicating myself to my blog on New Years Eve. (yuck!)

I feel like we've pulled from blogging (unless you're making insane money...or money at all!) and moved to the one liner (sometimes 2) of FB status or instagram pictures, which require little to no form of communication. 

I'm not judging....that's where I've been spending my time. :|

I will admit I've thought of doing a blog post here and there. 2012/13 has been rough for me in the friends/family/feelers department. It ranges from relatives/friends that could give a ratatouille's behind about me or my children/husband or  friends or family making sure we knew we weren't invited to family/friend gathering or to family/friend that is just unaware of how they influence. 

It's also included a self awarness or searching for what I've been creating or destroying. Like I said...it's been full of friend/family/feelers. 

Writing posts has been something I was thinking of however,....it was a choice not to blog so as to not start a war of words. To not be assuming. To not lay it out for the universe to hear. And my BIGGEST reason was being passive aggressive by just blogging it, is not how I roll. I would rather talk with the person and resolve. Or how I unfortunately took care of it....just giving everyone space. Passive Aggressive is probably my biggest pet peeve. (yes, I get the irony of me giving everyone their space)

I read a blog post today, which has literally inspired me to just move forward. It's at living well spending less. She was giving her experience of school/family/stress. She said: 

So there ya go! I'm taking a hard right! I'm going to hopefully create a better tomorrow. I'm nervous about it. I don't have a plan on how to do it, I don't know what the results of others will be....but I know what my goal is, and sometimes that's the hardest part. 

I've also made a self awarness that no one is believing. I am an introvert camouflaging it as an extrovert....makes relationships MUCH harder and confusing, I'm sure, for the other party. That's the hurdle. yay.  (that's for another post)

The names I give will never be the actual names. If I share an experience....there's some anonymity. 

Stay tuned.... it's gonna be good!   


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Somthing NEW, Somthing Borrowed and Something Blue............

You would think I'm getting married by the above post title....but no way Jose!!! I'm loving the one I married and am good!!
This is me being a little more vulnerable than I'd really like to be and doing something a little different in hopes of being successful!
I've started a new blog. I started two other blogs in the past, but either made them private and a handful of people could view or made them completely private and only my cousin and husband were allowed to read. Those are both deleted....I failed at them.
This one is out in the open, for anyone to read. It's my 'diet journal' if you will. I've been on a quest to get my weight down, not just for the looks, but so that I can do my part to stay here on earth with my kids and Jason. I am taking my health very serious and just wanting to do/show a better way.
It is a struggle. (the something blue) Satan very much LOVES to beat a person down and will throw whatever my way to stumble me. I recognize some of those things...and have been working to push them aside.
It is a new diet. (the something new) It's the HCG (homeopathic version) and it's intense to say the least. I hate diets. I don't completely believe in them...but as you may or may not read (on my blog), I have to be drastic to reset my body and the way it works.
I could use the encouragement and positive vibes. (the something borrowed) Knowing that others care fills my cup. Knowing someone else may either have the same struggle or that mine is assisting them fills the cup as well. I honestly don't want to hear about so and so...I'd love to hear about your thoughts/feelings/experiences.
I've kept a lot of things I do a secret. I don't like being told what to do or "if you would just do...." and so keeping things a secret seemed the way to go. That didn't work, so I'm choosing not to be insane and share and be vulnerable. (hate that!)
Don't feel obligated to read....if it's not of interest, that's fine! I only want the positive and encouraging. I want to be VERY careful....it's me making a big change and that can be tricky. The slightest thing can waiver me....so I want to be vigilant.
(see how vulnerable I've been....I even put a picture of just me! ACK!!!)

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Changes are.................

...........Hard/Scary/Intense/Joyful/Exhausting and Reflective. That's been our last week. :)

Jason has changed jobs. His uncle has a business that sells/installs and repairs Coin operated laundry machines into apartment buildings, etc.. He worked for them when Ben was born and we were living in Spokane. His cousin Nathan runs the business on this end of the state.

Jason has been working here and there for them on his days off, just to make a little extra scratch. It has been such a blessing. They've gotten really busy over here and are ready to add another person to the mix. They offered it to Jason.

After making sure we would be covered and after A LOT of prayer, we made the switch. I say A LOT not because of the deal, or who we'd be working for, but because we wanted this...and I guess we're used to 'Nope, try again'. ;) It felt sooo odd to have Jason give his two weeks notice to Lowes. We thought we'd be there forever!

What we didn't expect and I feel Christmas masked a little, was the emotional dump we've had from quitting Lowes and having our new adventure start.

I was talking to Sam the other night about sharing experiences and feelings with us so we could assist him through the new wild frontier of adolescence and I said " sometimes feelings will come out of no where and knock you flat on your butt!"...............enter Jason quitting here. :)

We don't miss Lowes. We are not sad to have left. There are more feelings of relief. Jason will be able to go to church EVERY Sunday now, as well as have and fulfill a calling. This has been our prayer for months. We are relieved that we will have a better feel for when Jason will or won't be home. He'll be able to spend more time with ALL the kids, not just Sam at the gym. He and I can actually SET a date night! Good Good stuff!

We've been a little surprised that we are having to "integrate" him back into the family. NEITHER of us realized just how much Lowes was SUCKING the life out of us and our family. It is a testimony builder that the Lord is mindful of our righteous desires and always provides a way after all we can do. Sometimes it feels like Satan is winning. It feels like we are smacking into one wall after another.

A quote by Elder Holland keeps coming to mind: "The future of this world has long been declared, the final outcome between good and evil is already known. There is no question as to who wins because the victory has already been posted on the scoreboard. The only really strange thing in all of this is we are all still down here on the field trying to decide which team’s jersey we want to wear.”

Why I've been touched and in awe of His personal attention to the 'Seattle' Berezay's is beyond me. We've picked our jersey and have been working SO hard at being worthy of the Team.

Jason is amazing. He so very much deserves this change. He is very excited to be working with his family. He wants to make them proud. I am completely relieved for him and the chance to get to know his kids again. WE LOVE JASON!

So begins another chapter in our lives. A surprise ending as it were. ;)


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