Mother of the Year called and said thanks but no thanks! OH and my mommy card is offically revoked for a couple reasons.
Reason 1: I did not think about, ponder on or even blink toward touching and purchasing let alone carving ONE pumpkin this Halloween season! WHO DOES THAT?!
Reason 2: Here is a conversation I had with Ben last night that not only kept me up all night, I can't stop thinking about it and what I've done to create this!
It will probably make some of you laugh (which is why I adore you!), others of you judge (keep it to yourself....I'm way harder on me than you could be!) and some cry (which I did as well!).
Jason, Ben and I were watching a little tv before bedtime routine started and an Amber alert came on, which alone is so sad! As we listened and waited for regular programing to come back on Ben blurts out.....
"Stealing a kid is so stupid. Why would anyone want to steal a kid, we're worthless!"
I still can't believe he said that. I asked him why he thought that, to which he replied:
"we're worthless. All we do is eat, sleep, go to school and a few chores"
I was so stunned I didn't say anything other than "you're not worthless....you add a lot to our lives" then listed a few of my favorite things about him.
I can't stop thinking about this statement. What child thinks children are worthless?! I honestly don't even know where to begin. I'm crushed as a mom that my own child doesn't think he adds much to life as we know it. I've started to really go through things I say/do to see what we can do about that raw honest statement and turn it around.
I know Ben knows we love him. I know he loves us and our family. So the foundation is there. This older kid business is HARD! I never thought I'd say this.....and I mean NEVER! But changing diapers and nap schedules seems a WHOLE LOT easier!
Like I said.....mommy card revoked! :(
5 comments:
Oh, Kim... if a statement like that is because you're a bad mom, then I'm a horrible, horrible mom. My 9 year old says things like "everyone hates me", "I wish I had never been born", and "I wish I would just die" all the time. I have no idea why he says things like that, and it breaks my heart, and no amount of contradicting him makes him feel better when he's in one of those moods. You're a good mom, and our kids are okay... just trying to figure out life. :)
LOL. Does that measn laugh out loud? Didn't you ever feel that way when you were a child? I feel it is the self esteem gene that we all get to figure out, and yes, parents get to help out alot! Kudos to you for paying attention! Another thought, I remember you telling me once, "why do you always feel like a failure when I do something wrong? I am responsible for what I think and do." As I look at it, paying attention and assisting him to change his perception is the grand part of parenthood!
I love you!!!
Mom
Okay I may have giggled a little when I first read what he said. It was just so Ben, matter of fact like. Made me miss him. I've been making my kids say one reason they are thankful for a different member of the family every night this month, being that its November, and because Austin was having a negative attitude about his sister. More of the later. Its been fun to see what they come up with. Like "Well shes not boring." BTW we didn't carve pumpkins either.
Thanks for the reminder that I'm not ready for "big kids" yet. I have no advice. I think you are a great mom, though, and will help all your kids feel anything but worthless!
Don't worry, don't you remember how moody you could get as a teen. Heck I still get moody and in those sort of moods. He has good parents he knows deep down that he is not worthless.. BTW I tried to bribe my kids to stay in watch scary movies and eat lots of candy instead of going trick or treating. It worked till that day and they thought they were going trick or treating so I had last min. costumes to get.
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